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05 October 2012 @ 08:51 am
My September 2012 dreams: David Boreanaz, George R. R. Martin, Alanis Morissette, and more  

Originally published at Scott Edelman. Please leave any comments there.

I remembered fewer dreams than usual during September, thanks to my lengthy trip to Chicago for Worldcon and many culinary adventures. Dreams tend to fade before I can scribble them down when I’m exhausted and in a strange bed, which always gives me a sense of loss, because I enjoy my dreams, revel in them, really, and hate to forget even one.

But what remained was still choice, and as always, the dreams benefit from being collected and allowed to rub up against each other this way. September’s guest stars included David Boreanaz, George R. R. Martin, Alanis Morissette, Tom Hanks, Harlan Ellison, E. Nelson Bridwell, and many others.


I dreamt I was in The Colbert Report live audience, and when he introduced Alanis Morissette, the camera instead cut to him dressed as her. 30 Sep

I dreamt I was on a train to Machu Picchu, and when I looked up from my iPad, I saw Tom Hanks and Will Sasso (as Bill Clinton) were there. 30 Sep

I dreamt @scalzi got mad at me because while visiting him, I destroyed my first drafts. But more because in doing so, I flooded his house. 29 Sep

I dreamt three old guys drove to our door to deliver a kingsized mattress, only I looked at them and thought … no way they can lift it. 28 Sep

I dreamt my wife was cradling my son, suddenly a baby once again, and then passed him to me, and I rocked him. Oddly, he could still speak. 28 Sep

I dreamt I talked to my grandmother about my memories of my great-grandmother (even though grandma is dead, and I never met great-grandma). 28 Sep

I dreamt my boss @CraigEngler drove up, and I served him most of a chocolate cake with my bare hands, saving one slice for @IreneVartanoff. 26 Sep

I dreamt I worked as a baker at my friends’ cafe, and decided I was going to attempt to convince them to sell me part of the business. 25 Sep

I dreamt I was on a pitch black cruise ship searching for a light switch, as I was scheduled to teach a juggling workshop and needed to see. 25 Sep

I dreamt I came up out of the NYC subway to discover fanciful architecture that never really existed — stone towers, ornate gardens, etc. 24 Sep

I dreamt a guy went up to Irene and tried to steal her luggage, but I growled at him (he didn’t know we were together) and he retreated. 24 Sep

I dreamt I stepped away from my dinner at Alinea, and when I returned, Sharon Kier Patry was at my place — and eating my dessert! 24 Sep

I dreamt David Boreanaz was breaking up with Dana Delany, explaining to her why they couldn’t be together. But they’re not together, right? 24 Sep

I dreamt I was reading imaginary reviews of Next on Facebook, which proves my subconscious is much too obsessed with that restaurant. 24 Sep

I dreamt I read an Entertainment Weekly episode guide for a steampunk TV show that never existed — and it starred Johnny Depp! 23 Sep

I dreamt I followed a Japanese translator who had been assigned to me around a college campus, but awake now, I have no memory of why. 23 Sep

I dreamt I was rushing along at a con, late for a panel, but spotted Harlan Ellison and had to hug him even though that would make me later. 23 Sep

I dreamt that as I stared out back, I saw a herd of 25+ deer come running at the house single file, only veering at the very last moment. 22 Sep

I dreamt I arrived at an awards ceremony where you could only watch if you’d previously won an award, and had to bring trophies as proof. 22 Sep

I dreamt that as I waited on a D.C. Metro platform, everyone else began performing a flashmob musical number — but I didn’t know about it! 22 Sep

I dreamt that while I watched an episode of Breaking Bad, Hank and his team were tossing my house for evidence. A very metafictional dream. 22 Sep

I dreamt I read a DC Comics story, drawn by Nick Cardy, that was nothing more than a couple in bed discussing _other_ DC Comics stories. 21 Sep

I dreamt I won a solid gold watch from a carny on a sideshow game of chance and returned the next day so he could try to win it back again. 21 Sep

I dreamt I demonstrated to a class how to make fake Game of Thrones TV blood right before introducing George R. R. Martin for a Q and A. 21 Sep

I dreamt I took part in an old timey religious gospel traveling show, but in a postmodern ironic way. I sure rocked that cowboy hat, though. 20 Sep

This is one of the weirder ones — I dreamt I was @sinboy, arguing with @rosefox in a snow-filled NYC apartment. Over what? Don’t remember. 20 Sep

I dreamt a guy sent me a note to deliver to his wife saying he’d killed himself, only after I did, the whole thing turned out to be a hoax. 20 Sep

I dreamt Irene and I discovered a massive mountain of shoes in the bedroom. Clearing it revealed a circle of scary-looking white alien mold. 20 Sep

I dreamt I appeared on SNL singing a song with Jimmy Fallon about a skyscraper. Not sure which one, except — not the WTC, as it was joyful. 19 Sep

I dreamt I delivered Kobe beef to a rock star (Steve Tyler, I think) and carried it past the bodyguard unwrapped and bloody in my hands. 18 Sep

I dreamt my sister-in-law was nominated for an Emmy. No idea why, but we were all in the audience rooting her on. I woke before the outcome. 18 Sep

I dreamt I arrived at a museum after closing but was able to talk my way in because some original comics art I owned was hanging there. 18 Sep

I dreamt I was a web designer, and when I visited a client to show what I planned, her cokehead boyfriend picked a fight. So I decked him. 18 Sep

I dreamt I visited a celebrity chef restaurant with my boss, but have no memory of the cuisine, only that we were lucky as hell to get in. 18 Sep

I dreamt I told a friend, don’t know who, don’t know why, “I understand loving bad boys, but don’t go down with a sinking ship.” 17 Sep

I dreamt while packing for hotel checkout I saw one, then dozens, then hundreds of soldiers outside at attention for a military funeral. 17 Sep

I dreamt I woke to find my wife and friends heading out to see a movie without me — A.I., which one of them called by the name “Al.” 16 Sep

I dreamt Brian Aldiss stayed over, and during his visit, he kept reading aloud, not from his own work, but from the poems of T. S. Eliot. 16 Sep

I dreamt that while trying to escape museum crowds, I stepped through a door into “the real world” for which our world is but a mask. 16 Sep

I dreamt I spent an entire Readercon sick in my hotel room, only getting out the last day for a final meal of waffles with Paul Di Filippo. 13 Sep

I dreamt I was staying (alone without Irene) in a hotel near Chichen Itza, and never made it out of the hotel to see anything BUT the hotel. 13 Sep

I dreamt I printed up 1,000 copies of a short story to hand out free at a World Horror Con, but discovered a single typo, so threw them out. 13 Sep

I dreamt my nephew, as a baby, was pushed from a height, and I caught him before he hit the ground. He giggled, oblivious to his near death. 13 Sep

I dreamt I shared my bed with a family of farmers desperate to get to sleep, but I kept them awake reading my mail and ripping up envelopes. 12 Sep

I dreamt I was hostage negotiator Tom Hanks trying to talk a guy in a restaurant into putting down his bazooka. I woke with crisis unended. 11 Sep

I dreamt — no, had a nightmare — that workmen were mistakenly cutting down all our trees and I was running at them shouting, “No! No! No!” 11 Sep

I dreamt I was at @Alinea with my late father, sharing the restaurant’s famous dessert right after it had been smashed in front of us. 11 Sep

I dreamt I ran my hand over my scalp and found a nail there. Couldn’t decide whether to yank it out, snip it flat, or go see a doctor. 10 Sep

I dreamt I went to a screening and sat in the back row munching popcorn next to Richard Roeper, who morphed into Homeland’s Damian Lewis. 10 Sep

I dreamt I bumped into Steven Tyler outside a drugstore, after which we went inside and he helped me find whatever it was I was looking for. 10 Sep

I dreamt I was accosted by a cop for eating fried dog from a takeout box on the subway. When I asked if it was illegal, he pulled his gun. 9 Sep

I dreamt I was E. Nelson Bridwell, cracking open a box of superhero cereal to share with a kid who was touring the DC Comics office. 9 Sep

I dreamt I bicycled through a small town, saw a guy in a bear suit, and followed him, hoping he’d do something interesting. He never did. 8 Sep

I dreamt Justified‘s Robert Quarles was my new boss, and he ripped posters off the wall where I worked, even though I worked at home. 8 Sep

I dreamt I flew to the next Worldcon on a plane that contained one of those endless lap pools, wondering how it could carry that weight. 7 Sep

I dreamt I learned two men — one of them Larry the Cable Guy — were going to try to kill me. But they didn’t know I knew. So I survived. 7 Sep

I dreamt I was in Germany with a tour group that wouldn’t hit the streets until the following day, so I snuck out to wander at night. 5 Sep

I dreamt @grahamsleight and I sat in the #Chicon7 lobby until dawn, at which point I wanted us to have bangers and mash, but he made a face. 3 Sep